1. Neither teenagers nor cats turn their heads when you call them by name.2. No matter what you do for them, it is not enough. Indeed, all humane efforts are barely adequate to compensate for the privilege of waiting on them hand and foot.3. You rarely see a cat walking outside of the house with an adult human being, and it can be safely said that no teenager in his or her right mind wants to be seen in public with his or her parents.4. Even if you tell jokes as well as Jay Leno, neither your c....

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