The Onion - Photos
Images from The Onion -- America's Finest News Source
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For Only $5 Per Month, You Can Help Continue Photographing This Child
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Shell Executives Accuse Oil-Covered Otter Of Playing It Up
The otter, milking it for every last ounce of sympathy.
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There's Nothing More Exhausting Than A Long Day Of Placing Vaginal Transmitters In Moose
Man, am I beat. You ever feel so wiped at the end of the day that the thought of going back to work the next morning is just unbearable? Yeah,...
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'I Feel Like An Idiot,' Tiger Woods Says While Holding FedEx Cup Trophy
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Michael Vick Fails To Inspire Team With 'Great' Dogfighting Story
PHILADELPHIAMichael Vick's pregame pep talk Sunday, in which he recounted the events of a brutal 2004 dogfight between his pit bull terrier...
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Nation Demands Fresh Celebrity Meat
Experts warned there's barely enough carrion to get America's starving masses through the weekend.
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Fly On Wall Can’t Believe They're Restructuring Entire West Coast Division
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It's Still Not Too Late To Greet Us As Liberators
Boy, how these last six years have flown by. Back in 2003, when we first arrived here in your country, we certainly didn't expect things to turn...
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Pepsi To Cease Advertising
A relic of Pepsi's past.
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Jealous GPS Clearly Wants Man To Back Over Wife
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Cat Congress Mired In Sunbeam
Sen. Creamsicle (D-ND) rails against subsidies to the litter rake industry.
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Sexy Career Woman To Take Hot Bath After Stressful Day
Barrett momentarily lets herself get lost in the distant promise of warm suds gently caressing her naked body.
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One Man's Chilling Tale Of Needing To Get To An ATM Pretty Soon
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My Living Nightmare Of Encouraging Kids To Read Is Over
Thank god. After 26 long years, I can finally rest easy. Twenty-six years I spent standing in front of a camera, gritting my teeth, and...
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Team Pretending To Celebrate With Kicker
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Dallas Cowboys Release Jerry Jones
IRVING, TEXASIn an attempt to cut the franchise's losses and "move forward in a positive direction," the Dallas Cowboys severed ties with...
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Nadir Of Western Civilization To Be Reached This Friday At 3:32 P.M.
Some of the factors contributing to culture's dizzying collapse.
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Tire Salesman To Hit Them With A Little Razzle-Dazzle
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George W. Bush Chuckles To Self Upon Thinking About How He Was President Of The United States For A …
At times, the man who authorized two separate wars in as many years wonders if the whole thing wasn't just a dream.
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Free-Range Chicken Makes It To Bolivia
The Onion - Photos
