The Onion - Photos
Images from The Onion -- America's Finest News Source
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Sexualized Octogenarian Flapper Girl Still Earning Living For Someone
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College Freshman Makes Triumphant Return To High School
Henry Doyle freely roams the halls of Bayshore Higha privilege he would have needed a pass for just last spring.
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Inside The Mind Of A Perfectly Sane Person
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Entire Office Unsure What To Do About Bawling Coworker
Human resources personnel have not yet ruled out the possibility of a missed birthday.
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40,000 Revenge-Seeking Bats Descend Upon Manu Ginobili
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New York Marathon Winner Tests Positive For Performance-Enhancing Horse
NEW YORKOfficials from New York Road Runners stripped American Meb Keflezighi of his 2009 ING New York City Marathon victory Wednesday...
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Congress Approves $500 Billion For Monument To Human Folly
Lawmakers celebrate the passage of funds that will be used to honor the renunciation of fiscal restraint.
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Pigeon Trying To Act Nonchalant About Fresh Vomit On Sidewalk
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If I'm So Crazy, Then Why Do People Keep Having Sex With Me?
You know, I'm getting really sick of this. I am a perfectly normal, fully functioning adult, and yet it seems like every other day someone tells...
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United Airlines Exploring Viability Of Stacking Them Like Cordwood
In-flight amenities will still include the breathable pressurized air United is known for.
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Biggest Mistake Of Life Dressed Up As Pumpkin
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House Haunted By Tortured Souls Of Current Residents
It's said that sometimes a skeleton-like dog can be seen lurking around the backyard, looking for food that isn't there.
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Group Of Popular Girls Reduces Nation To Tears
Ashley, Courtney, and Marisa find endless new ways to crush the fragile American populace.
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Boo! Why You Were Not Remotely Scared By This And How Foolish We Feel For Even Having Tried
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Fan Turns Skin Inside Out To Rally Team
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Phillies Hope To End 364-Day World Series Drought
PHILADELPHIAThe last time the Philadelphia Phillies brought a World Series title back to the City of Brotherly Love, the nation's financial...
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U.S. Continues Quagmire-Building Effort In Afghanistan
Hill by hill, U.S. forces tirelessly work toward the strategic goal of complete immobility.
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Stevie Nicks Dancing Alone On Beach Under Full Moon
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In This Economy, It Would Be Crazy To Run Out And Expose Yourself To Your Son's Soccer Team
Ladies and gentlemen, it's rough out there. I don't need to tell you that. A lot of folks have seen their savings go up in smoke the last couple...
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Man Dies After Secret 4-Year Battle With Gorilla
Bereaved family members say Seaborne was much too young to be taken by a gorilla (inset).
The Onion - Photos
