Wonkette: The D.C. Gossip
Wonkette: The D.C. Gossip
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Race Will Only Be Transcended By Those Who Purchase Obama Fleece!
The silly DNC spent all of its cash on loser Jim Martin's 800 losses in Georgia this year, so what do they do, right, they go to Obama and ask for a damn check, and then he e-mails us to hawk some more junk. "Obama for America" writes, "This holiday ...
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Ed Rendell Thinks Napolitano Will Do Well At Homeland Security, Despite Her Vagina
Loveable Pennsylvania Gov. Ed Rendell has opened his fat trap yet again, this time on a hot mic, to celebrate the selection of Arizona Gov. Janet Napolitano as Secretary of Homeland Security. He tells a friend that she'll do well because she's a fucking unmarried childless loser: "Janet's perfect fo ...
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Jonah Goldberg Is So Gay For Mormons
Police are going to use truth serum (probably just pinot noir) on the only surviving Mumbai terrorist. [Daily Beast] Harvard is in a recession too! The elitist madrassa where Barry spent his formative years managed to lose 22% of it's $36.9 billion endowment in four months. [HuffPost] According ...
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Women Constantly Trying To Do Kitchen Chores In Veterans Affairs Dept. Bathroom
This sign apparently hangs in a ladies' room at the Department of Veterans Affairs. But is this a standard thing in all ladies' rooms, everywhere? Ladies? [Endless Simmer]
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Obama Accused of Using Lame Zune Device
According to some Philadelphia CityPaper blog post we don't really believe and can only half comprehend because the HTML is all broken because a million people must be trying to read this same important scandalous story right now, Barack Obama was seen in a gym somewhere using the failed Microsoft . ...
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Bushes Disrespects America By Planning To Buy A Home, In Dallas
Can you even believe this George Bush. While all of you people and everyone else are having your homes foreclosed by the Subprimes, PRESIDENT MONEYBAGS over here and his smoker wife "Laura" are going to *buy* a home, to *live* in. "Laura Bush confirmed that she and the President are ...
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No More Book Learning For You Hobos
Since it's the Depression and all, get ready for skyrocketing educational costs! State governments have no munnies for their public schools, and all the private schools wasted their endowments on AIG stock, so increased tuition costs get passed along to you, the consumer! And since there are no jobs ...
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Your Latest Imaginary Minnesota Senate Recount News: Al Franken, Uh, Winning
The Al Franken team announced today that under its special recount tracking methodology, Franken's ahead by 22 votes over that cock Norm Coleman! The maths here seem rather terrible: "The Franken camp's methodology involves taking down the opinions of the local election officials regarding the chall ...
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That Cannot Be True, CNN!
This CNN article is consistently hilarious, the way it tries to segue between Barack Obama being president and the history of slavery. We learn all kinds of surprising information! "WASHINGTON (CNN) -- In January, President-elect Barack Obama and his family will make history, becoming the first Afri ...
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Bill Richardsons Tall Tales
Now that he's the President of Global Business, Bill Richardson is on the A List! People are interested, maybe, in what he has to say! So it's a good thing Esquire just posted some random stuff from an interview with the de-bearded New Mexican. He named his horse after some ...
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Jim Lehrer Tells Creepy Stories About Cannibals, For Laughs
Who better to promote a heart-warming comedy show than a man with a funereal demeanor and the beady, coal-black eyes of a dead shark? Nobody! Please watch Make 'Em Laugh: The Funny Business of America, lest Jim Lehrer be forced to make your faucets run with blood while he sings ...
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Who Will Be The Next Barack Obama?
Our President-elect has mastered the art of time travel and can shoot laser beams from his nipples, but he hasn't figured out yet how to be in two places at the same time. ERGO, somebody must fill his senatorial seat while he is off being the President. But who, hmmm? ...
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Liveblogging Obama Giving Bill Richardson the Latino Consolation Prize
Jeez, that media whore Barack Obama is on the teevee again! Let's liveblog it. He is introducing the Commerce Secretary, who was announced what, two weeks ago? Slow news day, Barry, MMMHMMM? Every big supporter of Obama gets their own press conference which probably takes over The View or Ellen ...
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Liveblogging Obama and Bill Richardson
Jeez, that media whore Barack Obama is on the teevee again! Let's liveblog it. He is introducing the Commerce Secretary, who was announced what, two weeks ago? Slow news day, Barry, MMMHMMM? Every big supporter of Obama gets their own press conference which probably takes over The View or Ellen ...
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Terribly Offensive Ornament Will NOT Hang On White House XMas Tree After All
Ha ha, so after it looked like Laura Bush was going to be all gracious about festooning the White House Christmas tree with a repulsive ornament decorated in tiny letters supporting the impeachment of her husband, the first lady's spokeswoman says that she will have none of this nonsense. Sally M ...
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Jeb Will Carry Bush Family Curse Into Senate
Among the Bushes, Jeb is known as "the smart one with the Mexican wife and the hot son and the pillhead daughter." He had dibs on the presidency, but then George stepped in first, and now Jeb Bush is just the former governor of a state full of alligators and ...
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Bill Richardson, Perpetual Secretary
Shorter automaker bailout: Ford is fairly screwed, while GM and Chrysler are extra screwed. [Detroit Free Press]Many Michigan residents have little sympathy for the Big Three automakers and their bailout request. [New York Times]Saab's executives are confident that somebody will want to buy the comp ...
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Actual Confederate Owner Of Slave Plantations Wins Georgia Runoff
Ha ha, Jim Martin lost like a little gay baby, and now we know why Obama never campaigned in the state for him: his two-time Senate election losingness in the same election. "With 90 percent of the states precincts reporting in Tuesdays runoff election, Mr. Chambliss had 59 percent of ...
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CNN Is Disgusting
Good question, CNN. It looks like Republican Santa will let that little boy discover the answer firsthand. We do not care to watch the filthy video. [CNN, thank you tipster "Adam G."]
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Where Did The Last Hour Go?
Anyone who's managed to score higher than "zero" on this thing is a golden god and should run the global economy. UPDATE: DAVE J. HAS THE SECRET. [EcoDriving USA]
Wonkette: The D.C. Gossip
