Animal Jokes, Humor and Satire
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This housewife got tired of being alone every day since her husband was at work and her three daughters were in school, so she decided to get a pet to keep her company. She wa ... Discussion
A man runs into the vets office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him put his dog down on the examination table. The ... Discussion
An old man was sitting on a bench in the mall when a young man with spiked hair came over and sat down beside him. The boys hair was yellow and green and orange and purple. He ... Discussion
A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot says to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, th ... Discussion
One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on a parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding. He kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid ... Discussion
Money will buy a pretty good dog, but it wont buy the wag of his tail.When you leave them in the morning, they stick their nose in the door crack and stand there like a portra ... Discussion
Did you ever notice when you blow in a dogs face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window!Life is like a dogsled team. If you aint ... Discussion
A lady was expecting the plumber; he was supposed to come at ten oclock. Ten oclock came and went; no plumber; eleven oclock, twelve oclock, one oclock; no plumber.She conclud ... Discussion
Two morons stand on a cliff with their arms outstretched. One has some budgies lined up on each arm, the other has parrots lined up on his arms.After a couple of minutes, they ... Discussion
A woman went to the cinema the other day and in the front row was an old man and with him was his dog. It was a sad funny kind of film, you know the type. In the sad part, the ... Discussion
Mrs. Johnson phoned the plummer because her dishwasher quit working. He couldnt accommodate her with an "after-hours" appointment and since she had to go to work, sh ... Discussion
A burglar broke into a home and was looking around. He heard a soft voice say, "Jesus is watching you". Thinking it was just his imagination, he continued his search ... Discussion
An atheist was walking through the woods one day in Alaska, admiring all that evolution had created. "What majestic trees! What a powerful river! What beautiful animals!& ... Discussion
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dogs cross eyed. Is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," says the vet, "lets have a look at him" ... Discussion
A blind rabbit and a blind snake meet each other. Neither one remembers what kind of animal they are, so they decide to feel each other. The rabbit says, "You feel me fir ... Discussion
The State Department of Fish and Wildlife for Louisianna is advising hikers, hunters, fishermen, and golfers to take extra precautions and keep alert for alligators.They advis ... Discussion
On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee whereupon the parrot squawks, "And get me a cok ... Discussion
Three rats are sitting at the bar talking bragging about their bravery and toughness.The first says, "Im so tough, once I ate a whole bagful of rat poison!"The secon ... Discussion
A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. "I can hardly believe my eyes!" ... Discussion
This elderly lady, recently widowed, decides to see if a pet will ease her loneliness and goes to the pet store. She decides against puppies, kitties, etc., and is about to le ... Discussion



