Redneck Jokes, Humor and Satire
Redneck jokes, humor and satire
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Redneck Etiquette
1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if the gun is loaded and the deer is in sight. 2. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way. 3. Never tow another car using pantyhose and duct tape. 4. When sending your wife down the road wi ...
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Redneck Winner
A Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Austin to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number. The Redneck says, "I want my $20 million."The man replied, "No, sir. It doesnt work that way. We give you a million today and then youll get the rest spread out for the ...
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Redneck Valentine
Kudzu is green, my dogs name is BlueAnd Im so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.Yore hair is like cornsilk, a-flapping in the breeze.Softer than Blues and without all them fleas.You move like the bass, which excite me in May.You aint got no scales, but I luv you anyway.Youre as graceful as okry, ...
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Elevator Magic
A hillbilly family took a vacation to New York City. One day, the father took his son into a large building. They were amazed by everything they saw, especially the elevator at one end of the lobby. The boy asked, "Whats this, Paw?"The father responded, "Son, I have never seen anythin ...
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Ten indicators that a redneck has been working on your computer
10. The monitor is up on blocks.9. Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them. 8. The six front keys have rotted out. 7. The extra RAM slots have truck parts installed in them. 6. The numeric keypad only goes up to six. 5. The password is "Huntin". 4. The CPU has a gun rack mount. 3. There ...
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Spell What
Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away."Where do you live?" asked the operator.Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me was a long pause and fina ...
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Cooking Directions
The US Department of the Interior had to change the wording on the metal bands they used to tag migratory birds. Seems these bands used to have the address of the Washington Biological Survey abbreviated as "Wash. Biol. Surv." One day they received a letter from a hunter in Alabama:Dear ...
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You might be a redneck if #02
You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing or bowling. You have ever used a lightsaber to clean fish or open a non-twist-off bottle of beer.You built an outhouse over the Sarlaac. Youve ever argued with a Jawa over scavenging rights to a broken droid. A Wookie has ever told you that yo ...
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Things Rednecks Never Say
No kids in the back of the pick-up, its not safe.Do you think my hair is too big?The tires on that truck are too big.Do you think this ball cap goes with this shirt?Were vegetarians.Ill have grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy. You cant feed that to the dog. Trim the fat off that steak. I just ...
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You might be a redneck if #01
More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.You think the stock market has a fence around it.You think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.Youve ever lost a loved one to kudzu.Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.Your front porch coll ...
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Going To Town
Billy-Bob was walking into town one day wearing nothing but his gun and his boots. Just as he began walking down Main Street he was confronted by the Sheriff."Hey, Billy-Bob, ya mind if I ask you what you are doin walkin down Main Street wearin nothin but your gunbelt and boots Sheriff, its a l ...
Redneck Jokes, Humor and Satire
