Politics - Political Jokes Humor And Satire
Have some laughs and fun at the expense of our politicians at Politics - Political Jokes And Humor
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Career Test
A young mans parents were trying to figure out what their sons future career would be so they decided to give him a test.They took a twenty dollar bill, a Bible, and a bottle of whiskey, and put them on the front hall table. Then they hid, hoping he would think they werent at home. The father told t ...
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Impossible Task
NASA was celebrating, they had just made the scientific breakthrough of a lifetime. As they were uncorking a bottle of champagne, the head scientist at NASA, asked everyone to be quiet as he had received a congratulatory phone call from the President of the United States.He picked up a special red p ...
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How Government Works
The government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Congress said someone may steal from it at night; so they created a night watchman, and hired a person for the job.Then Congress said, "How does the watchman do his job without instruction?" So they created a planning division ...
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Standards
A high-priced call girl brings a customer to her fancy apartment. He admires the fancy furnishings and the art and asks how she was able to amass such splendor. She replies that those really were her fathers, that he was a politician for forty years.He said, "How come you didnt follow in his fo ...
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Bill Clinton Tries To Get Into Heaven
Clinton died and went to heaven or to be more accurate, approached the Pearly Gates. After knocking at the gates, St. Peter appeared. "Who goes there?" inquired St. Peter. "Its me, President Bill Clinton.""And what do you want?" asked St. Peter. "Lemme in!" re ...
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Right To Vote
Like any experienced Chicago politician, Obama would go the cemetary to register voters. One night he came across a grave so old and worn that he couldnt make out the name on the tombstone. The staffer holding the flashlight got impatient and suggested they just move on to the next plot. Obama angri ...
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Fishing For The Presidency
The Presidential election was too close to call. Neither the Republican candidate nor the Democratic candidate had enough votes to win. There was much talk about ballot recounting, court challenges, etc., but a week-long ice fishing competition seemed the sportsmanlike way to settle things. The cand ...
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Why Some People Will Vote For Barack Obama
Q. Why will Jimmy Carter vote for Barack Obama?A. Because Jimmy doesnt want to be the worst President in history.Q. Why will Senator Hillary Clinton vote for Barack Obama?A. Because he stole the primary election fair and square.Q. Why will Jane Fonda vote for Barack Obama?A. Because Ho Chi Minh is d ...
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Rules Politicians Live By
An honest answer can cost you the election.The truth is what others will believe.If its worth fighting for, its worth fighting dirty for.Dont lie, cheat or steal...unnecessarily.The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.A promise is not a guarantee.Chicken little only has to be right once.&quo ...
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Obama Quips #2
Barack Obama said today that politics has become too gummed up by money and influence ... and then he had to leave to attend a fundraiser. Jay LenoDo you know what Barack Obamas middle name is? Hussein. Couldve been worse. Couldve been Kerry. Jay LenoI refer to him as B. Hussein Obama. Hes half whit ...
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Obama Quips
"Everyone is so concerned now where all of the candidates are born. McCain was born on a military base in Panama. Hillary was born outside Chicago, and if you believe the media, Barack Obama was born in a manger." --Jay Leno"Barack Obama gave a big speech on race, and there was one he ...
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Highjacker
A cargo plane is in mid-flight over the ocean when suddenly the cockpit door bursts open to reveal an armed, masked hijacker to a startled pilot, copilot, navigator, and a passenger. The passenger happens to be George W Bush.(I know, he would not be on a cargo plane but it is necessary for this joke ...
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A busload of politicians
A busload of politicians were driving down a country road when the bus suddenly ran off the road and crashed into an old farmers field. The old farmer heard the tragic crash so he rushed over to investigate. He then began digging a large grave to bury the politicians. A few hours later, the local sh ...
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Bragging Rights
Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb and Don Juan were having a terrible fight. "I am the most beautiful person in the world," proclaimed Sleeping Beauty. "No, youre not," answered Don Juan and Tom Thumb. "I am the smallest person in the world," shouted Tom Thumb. "No, youre ...
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Obama Quickies
?Barack Obama said today that politics has become too gummed up by money and influence ? and then he had to leave to attend a fundraiser.? ?Jay Leno?Senator Obama answered doubts about his inexperience by saying he has gained tremendous insight from his work as a community organizer, civil rights at ...
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Campaigning
Two candidates for political office inadvertently scheduled simultaneous campaign rallys in the same park of a small New England town. After a lengthy round of speeches, the candidates worked their way through the crowd - shaking hands, kissing babies and beaming mightily. Suddenly, the skies opened ...
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Homeless Man
Two rookie Congressmen, one Democrat and one Republican, were walking along the street in D.C. They came upon a homeless man asleep on the sidewalk. The Republican woke him up, gave him $20 for something to eat and gave him a lead on where he might get a job. The Democrat was very impressed. Later t ...
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Bill Clinton Statue
We have the distinguished honor of being on the committee for placing a statue of Bill Clinton in the Hall of Fame in Washington, D.C.This committee was in a quandary as to where to place the statue.It was not wise to place it beside the statue of George Washington, who never told a lie, nor beside ...
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Crisis Situation
A Marine was coming home from the Pentagon one day. He noticed that there was a lot more traffic than normal. As he got further up the road all of the traffic had come to a halt. He saw a policeman coming towards his car, so he asked the cop what was wrong.The cop said, "Man we are in a crisis ...
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Modern Noah And The Ark
And the Lord spoke to Noah and said, "In six months Im going to make it rain until the whole Earth is covered with water and all the evil people are destroyed. But I want to save a few good people and two of every kind of living things on the planet. I am ordering you to build an Ark." In ...
Politics - Political Jokes Humor And Sa..
