School Jokes Humor and Satire
School Jokes, Humor and Satire
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Linguistics
A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. "In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negativ ...
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Homework Schedule
Homework usually takes about 90 minutes. Here is how most high school students spend those 90 minutes.15 minutes searching for assignment while reading your text messages.11 minutes calling a friend for the assignment.23 minutes explaining why the teacher is mean and just does not like students.8 mi ...
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Shortage
Annoyed by the professor of anatomy who liked to tell "naughty" stories during class, a group of female students decided that the next time he started to tell one, they would all rise and leave the room in protest. The professor, however, got wind of their scheme just before class the foll ...
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Warning
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday School teacher said, "Bobby, when I was a child, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that."Bobby looked u ...
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Flat Tire
Two university students had a week of exams coming up. However, they decided to party instead. So, when they went to the exam, they decided to tell the professor that their car had broken down the night before due to a very flat tire and they needed a bit more time to study. The professor told them ...
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Season Pass
On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules: "The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time." He continued, ...
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Move Your Cars Please
It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: "Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may begin plowing."Twenty minutes later there was another announcement: "Will the nine hundred students who went to move f ...
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Actual Excuse Notes
"Please excuse John for being absent Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and 33." "Mary could not go to school because she was bothered by very close veins." "Ralph was absent yesterday because of a sour throat." "Please excuse Joey Friday. He had loose vowels." "Pl ...
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Presents For The Teacher
On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for their teacher. The florists son handed the teacher a gift. She shook it, held it up and said, "I bet I know what it is - its some flowers!""Thats right!" shouted the little boy. Then the candy store owners dau ...
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Blood Circulation
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said: "Now, students, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face." "Yes, sir," the boys said. "Then why is it that whi ...
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Not An Excuse
A college professor had just finished explaining an important research project to his class. He emphasized that this paper was an absolute requirement for passing his class, and there would be only two acceptable excuses for being late. Those were a medically certifiable illness or a death in the st ...
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Post Graduate Questions
The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Philosophy degree asks, "Do you want fries with ...
School Jokes Humor and Satire
