Blond - Blonde Jokes, Humor and Satire
Blond - Blonde Jokes, Humor and Satire
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Are his flashers on?
Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over 98 MPH."Hey," asked the brunette at the wheel, "Any cops following us?"The blonde turned around and had a long look at the road behind them. "Yeah, looks like it.""Are his flashers on?"The blonde turn ...
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Getting On The Bus
In the city at a crowded bus stop, a beautiful blonde was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight leather mini skirt with matching tight leather boots and jacket. As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come ...
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Do Not Shoot
A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging a ...
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Not So Dumb Blonde
Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blonde lady comes in and wants to bet $10,000 on a single roll of the dice. And she adds, "I hope you dont mind, but I feel much luckier when I m completely nude."With that she takes off everything but her necklace ...
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Lunch Time
An Irishman, a Mexican and a blond guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch Im going to jump off this building"The Mexica ...
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Excellent Student
A blond girl comes back from school one evening. She runs to her mum and says: "Mommy today at school we learnt how to count. Well, all the other girls only counted to 5, but listen to me: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10! Its good, isnt it darling, very good.""Is that because Im blond darling, i ...
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Horse Riding
One day a blonde was horseback riding. Everything was going fine until the horse started going too fast and bouncing out of control. The blonde tried with all her might to hang on, but soon was thrown off. With her foot caught in the stirrup, she fell head first to the ground. Her head continued to ...
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Start Over
A blonde was telling her priest a Pollock joke, when halfway through the priest interrupts her, "Dont you know Im Polish Im sorry," the blonde apologizes, "do you want me to start over and talk slower?"
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State Capitals
A dumb blonde was bragging about her knowledge of the state capitals of the United States. She proudly announced, "go ahead, ask me any of the capitals, I know all of them."A red head said, "O.K., whats the capital of Wyoming?" The blonde replied, "Oh, thats easy, W."
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Ice Fishing
A blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday decided to go ice fishing to make good use of her gift. Early the next morning, she got all her gear together and headed out to the ice.When she reached her final destination, she cut a large hole in the ice and dipped the rod in. Then suddenly she hea ...
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Lose Weight
An overweight blonde went to see her doctor for some advice. The doctor advised that she run ten miles a day for thirty days. This, he promised, would help her lose as many as twenty pounds. The blonde followed the doctors advice, and, after thirty days, she was pleased to find that she had indeed l ...
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Last Request
Three women are about to be executed. Ones a brunette, ones a redhead, and ones a blonde. Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."Suddenly the brunette yells, "earthqu ...
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Still More Blonde One Liners
Q: Why do blondes drive BMWs?A: Its the only car name they can spell. Q: What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?A: An interpreter. Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes? A: A mental block.Q: Whats the first thing a blonde does in the morning? A: Introduces herself. Q: ...
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Even More Blonde One Liners
Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?A: You can park in the handicap zone. Q: What was the blonde psychics greatest achievment?A: An IN-body experience!Q: How do you make a blondes eyes light up?A: Shine a flashlight in their ear. Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?A: It takes ...
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Swimming The Channel
There was a Blonde, a Brunette, and a Redhead standing on the beach. They had decided the previous evening whilst in the pub to try and swim the English channel. After some dicussion, they decided the quickest way would be to do the breast stroke, so off they set.One day later the Redhead reached th ...
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Boat Problem
During late spring one year, a blonde was trying out her new boat. She was unable to have her boat perform, travel through water, or do any maneuvers whatsoever no matter how hard she tried.After trying for over three days to make it work properly, she decided to seek help. She putted the boat over ...
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Pearly Gates
A dumb Blonde died and went to Heaven. When she got to the Pearly Gates, she met St. Peter who said, "Before you get to come into Heaven, you have to pass a test.""Oh, No!" she said, but St. Peter said not to worry hed make it easy. "Who was Gods son?" said St. Peter. T ...
Blond - Blonde Jokes, Humor and Satire
